I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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