Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
