Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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