no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
