Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
