you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
