you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
All the doctor said was why
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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