I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
