so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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