im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
