Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
