So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
