I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
