it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
