benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
