i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
so much tequila, so little girl.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
