I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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