I'm going to jail i love you
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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