then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
