you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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