Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
