i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
