What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
