Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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