i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
