everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
cat food counts as protein by the way
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
