Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
