I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
