Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
