I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
