Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Randomize
