I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it was like eating out sand paper
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
