my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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