My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
