im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He passed out mid-signature
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
