i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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