i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
