The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
