do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
40s are totally the cure
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
