i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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