just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
