I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Randomize
