Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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