He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
tell your sister to shave her snatch
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
time to smoke my breakfast
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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