idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I am naked and annoyed.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
