Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
