i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
