im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I will pee on everything he values.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
