Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
