i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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