He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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