Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
