Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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