yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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